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All saints

Call to worship and pastoral prayer

by Nancy Hastings Sehested

Today we observe All Saints, a tender time for the church to remember the saints who have died, and whose lives live in us still.

As part of my own spiritual practice, I read obituaries and eulogies. And have written quite a few eulogies in my ministry.

It is a practice that reminds me that death is a part of life. It is a way to keep choosing to live fully even as I am dying certainly. It places me in the river that flows with a life in love that knows no end.

All Saints is a time to illumine the mystery of the communion of saints.

Death has its day. It ends a life but not a relationship. Our grief ebbs and flows, but grief never ends.

Neither does our communion with the saints.

Something of their essence still flows through us.

Something of their life lives in us.

Something of their courage and endurance empowers us still.

And maybe in the mystery, they carry something of us in them, still speaking to us . . . still teaching us, loving us . . . pouring hope into us.

Today you’re invited to name saints. Pick up a leaf. Say their name. and place it on the table, a table where they are still missed, and yet a table in which through the mysteries of God’s love everlasting they sit at the table with us.

Pastoral Prayer

 Thank you God, for the shaping from the saints in our lives…for the foolish and the wise ones, the serious and the silly ones, the reserve and the overbearing ones, the mischievous and the obedient ones . . . lives whose presence have broadened and enriched our own.

Free us from regrets by your grace.

Strengthen us by the witness of your hope-bearing and love-embracing saints before us.

May these days make saints of all of us in perseverance in the struggles, in resistance to evil, in reliance on your Spirit.

After Tuesday, may we pick up where we never left off . . . feeding the hungry, teaching and tending the children, listening to the lonely, comforting the brokenhearted, healing the sick, raising all those who are dead and disheartened in spirit.

After Tuesday, may we be found among that countless number who still practice the politics of praise for your creation, and who have always made art of your divine deal of reconciliation.

After Tuesday, may we be counted among that number who still lives for your great dreams for humanity again and again and again . . . bolstered by the resolve that we are stronger together when we sacrifice together for the common wealth, the common good, the common cause of justice and peace.

After Tuesday, may you still find us with Jesus, walking unafraid, unfaltering . . . undone only by your Spirit swirling in and around us all.

After Tuesday, may we be convinced more deeply than ever that nothing, neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation can separate us from your love.

Through the Christ of love, we pray and pray and pray. Amen.

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©ken sehested @ prayerandpolitiks.org

All Saints Day

A litany for worship

by Ken Sehested

The saints of old don’t wear golden crowns, or sit on lofty perch, mouthing caustic comments on how poorly we yet-mortal souls measure up to the glory of days past.

They, too, knew about keeping hope alive while getting dinner on the table, faucets fixed, carpools covered, and budgets balanced.

After the ecstasy, there’s always the laundry.*

The saints, too, endured wistful nights and wasted days. They had knees that ached in cold weather and sometimes spoke sharp words to dearly-beloveds—including, on occasion, to God.

You may never enter a lion’s den, or travel through a war zone, or hear a prison door close behind your act of conscience. Mostly, you don’t get to custom-design the witness
you bear, the woe you endure, or the promises
you make to mend the world as it crosses your path.

By and large, you weigh the choices that come your way without the fanfare of stardom’s spotlight, your picture in the paper, or even angels whispering in your ear.

Saintly work is more common than you think.

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©Ken Sehested @ prayerandpolitiks.org. *Line adapted from Jack Cornfield’s book title, After the Ecstasy, the Laundry.

Make us audacious

A Reformation Sunday prayer, inspired by John 3:1-8

by Ken Sehested
Note: On Reformation Sunday, 1981, my wife Nancy and I were jointly ordained to the ministry. The choice of Reformation Sunday was intentional.

Beloved, Who beckons us with the aroma of baking bread, Whose breast offers milk and sweet honey, Who showers manna in the wilderness, with fresh water from sheer rock, and instruction from the mountain.

We give thanks for our baptismal trek through the sea, on the road from slavery to freedom.

Even still, though the restraints on our hands have fallen, those on our hearts remain. We are anxious about our 401k’s and find ourselves longing for Pharaoh’s shiny baubles and Amazon’s free delivery. Even as our ancient kin were skeptical about Moses’ mandate, so too are we about the one from Jesus.

Disquiet haunts our dreams. Confidence in Your Dream fades. Sometimes, like Nicodemus—fear of losing a seat in the halls of power, of forfeiting “Gold” status or “Rewards” benefits—we slink through darkened streets for a clandestine encounter with Your incarnate Presence.

Thank you for keeping a light on, a door ajar, a gentle embrace, a welcoming table.

We live in a season, on a land, among a people, with much scalding. Our seas are burning. Our forests are burning. Our streets are burning. Pandemic’s fever surrounds.

We are confronted with the awful truth that many who have worn crosses are prominent among those who burn them.

Grant to us a reforming repentance that overshadows grief, that prompts not regret but joyful refrain. Rend and amend our hearts with the aborning power from above—beyond the reach of every marketeer—by the Spirit Who neither shames nor tames but unleashes courage and prowess and perseverance.

Beloved, send Your angels to remind us that we are a delight to the Most High.

And thereby make us audacious, for the living of these days.

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For a personal family backstory to this occasion, see "Hearts over heads: A Reformation Sunday ordination story."

©ken sehested @ prayerandpolitiks.org

Hearts over heads

A Reformation Sunday ordination story

by Ken Sehested

My wife Nancy and I were jointly ordained on Reformation Sunday, 1981, at Oakhurst Baptist Church in Decatur, Georgia. As you might guess, the choice of the date was intentional—not simply to align ourselves to that dissenting ecclesial movement of a half-millennium ago, but to affirm that the community of faith is always and everywhere called to reform and refine its vision and mission, to realign itself at the intersection of the abiding Word and the ever-shape-shifting words whose purpose are to confuse and deceive and vandalize the common good.

The days leading up to that Sunday were glad ones, with one misgiving. My parents made a long car trip to be present for the occasion, and we didn’t know how my traditional-minded Dad was going to take being present for a woman’s ordination.

There was no doubt that he adored Nancy—elegant, funny, generous, not to mention beautiful. In fact, Dad’s opinion of me improved significantly when we married. He would never say as much, but I imagined him thinking, “If a quality person like Nancy thinks he’s pretty good, my boy must be OK.”

But ordaining a woman, I worried, might be a stretch.

As it turns out, that wasn’t the obstacle, which I didn’t realize until that Saturday night. Just before bedding down, I briefed Dad on how the service would unfold, including the “laying on of hands” ritual that, in our congregation, involved everyone present.

“Not just the ordained people?” Dad asked with face revealing both confusion and alarm. In traditional Southern Baptist life, that’s the custom—only the ordained were permitting to lay hands on the ordinands, a jealously guarded privilege of religious authority.

“No, Dad, in our church every member is encouraged to participate in the laying on of hands. We really do believe in the priesthood of all believers.”

“I’ve never heard of that,” he said in a tone that I knew too well, and dreaded. Dad was still very worried that I didn’t get enough “Baptist doctrine” during my studies at an ecumenical seminary.

“I don’t know about that . . . “ were his parting words as he turned and walked away. I knew we would not speak of it again before the service; and I suspected he would not participate in the dedication.

My sleep that night was fitful.

I was still anxious during the next morning’s service. But, near the end, when the time came for the ritual laying on of hands, both Mom and Dad were among the first to approach as Nancy and I knelt at the altar. Dad’s face was uncharacteristically emotional, and I could tell he was well out of his comfort zone.

When the time came, his heart won out over his head.

I recall that story from time to time, trying to glean its wisdom on how relationships can be nurtured with people, across all sorts of ideological divides, in a way that allows hearts the upper hand.

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•For more background on the Protestant Reformation, see this special issue of “Signs of the Times.”

•For a Reformation Sunday prayer, see "Make us audacious."

©ken sehested @ prayerandpolitiks.org

Buttered hot biscuits

Inspired by Romans 12:9-21

Sisters and brothers: Before we get down to business, wrestling with what the Spirit has to say today, let’s do some stretching exercises. Don’t want any muscle strains in the house of the Beloved. Easy does it—bend and stretch and tip-toe fetch.

Love from your devotion, not from your ambition.

Be quick to praise, slow to blame.

Don’t quit in hard times. Show what you’re made of.

Practice hospitality—without issuing debt.

Laugh ‘til you cry with friends in their rejoicing; cry ‘til you laugh with those doubled in grief.

Don’t wrestle with pigs. It only makes them mad and makes you muddy.

Be relentless in prayer, patient in pardoning, quick to encourage, and urgent to amend.

Don’t fight fire with fire—let your baptismal waters do their work.

Settle old scores with buttered hot biscuits.

Now the warm-ups are over. Ready to break a sweat?

Descend, Holy Spirit. Take us to the mat.

©Ken Sehested @ prayerandpolitiks.org

Labor’s bread and lovers’ roses

A Labor Day meditation

by Ken Sehested

My primary Labor Day memory comes from seminary days. I was assistant pastor at a church in New York City [Think: Typing a stencil and mimeographing the Sunday worship bulletin, etc., etc.], and for several years running I was the designated preacher on Labor Day weekend. The congregation shrank to 8-10 people that Sunday, given the New Yorker tradition of leaving town in August, returning on September’s first Monday evening.

Right: Art by Ricardo Levins Morales https://www.rlmartstudio.com

My favorite Labor Day tradition (unfortunately cancelled this year) is also a churchly affair. Members of my congregation hike in the Black Mountains east of Asheville, then convene under a picnic shelter in a nearby park for a leisurely, intergenerational potluck dinner and conversation, with plenty of playground equipment and a gentle stream for wading.

Picnics and discount sell-ebrations are synonymous with Labor Day, along with the cheap sentiments of Presidential Labor Day Proclamations. The latter’s sanctimony this year is dramatized by the wretched statistics of how the pandemic is disproportionately affecting low-age earners. More than 90% of the jobs cut during the pandemic have been from restaurants and other hospitality industries.

The stock market, on the other hand, is in record setting territory. The ruthlessness of income inequality could not be more pronounced.

“Woe to him who builds his house by unrighteousness
and his upper rooms by injustice; who makes his neighbors
work for nothing, and does not give them their wages.”
—Jeremiah 22:13

I never think of Labor Day without humming the song “Bread and Roses.”  Food is essential to life; but so, too, is beauty.

The history of the song “Bread and Roses” lifts in relief the struggle—sometimes deadly—of working men and women who have faced threats and armed suppression of strikers demanding living wages and humane working conditions.

As the great abolitionist Frederick Douglass wrote, “[E]xperience demonstrates that there may be a slavery of wages only a little less galling and crushing in its effects than chattel slavery, and that this slavery of wages must go down with the other."

“Then will I draw near to you for judgment, against those
who oppress the hired workers in their wages.”
—Malachi 3:5

The phrase “bread and roses” is thought to have originated in Russia, but it gained currency in the early 20th century from two women, both activists in the women’s suffrage and labor organizing movements: Rose Schneiderman and Helen Todd. In 1911 James Oppenheim composed the lyrics to the song by the name; the music was composed in 1974 by Mimi Fariña.

The song is associated with the January-March 1912 Lawrence Textile Strike. Responding to Massachusetts labor law that shortened the work week for women and children from 56 to 54 hours, the Lawrence mills reduced pay of its workers proportionately. When one of them, Anna LoPizzo was killed by a policeman during a protest, it galvanized a strike of some 20,000 women.

The strike is remarkable for many reasons, one of them being the fact that the Lawrence textile workforce was composed of immigrant women from more than 40 countries who rose above their cultural, ethnic, and linguistic differences to act in common defiance. By the end of their strike, 275,000 textile workers throughout the state were granted higher wages and better working conditions.

“Listen! The wages of the laborers who mowed your fields,
which you kept back by fraud, cry out, and the cries of the
harvesters have reached the ears of the Lord of hosts.”
—James 5:4

This Labor Day, spend a few minutes learning about the disruptive, injurious history which made our picnics possible. And pledge yourself to finding some way, however small, to remain vigilant on behalf of neighbors who still struggle both for labor’s bread and lovers’ roses.

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©ken sehested @ prayerandpolitiks.org

News, views, notes, and quotes

Signs of the Times  •  4 September 2020 •  No. 206

Labor Day 2020

Above: Painting by Blue Bond

Processional. “As we go marching, marching / In the beauty of the day / A million darkened kitchens / A thousand mill lofts grey / Are touched with all the radiance / That a sudden sun discloses / For the people hear us singing / Bread and roses, bread and roses.” —“Bread and Roses,”  performed by Bronwen Lewis, as sung in the 2014 move “Pride,” based on a true story, where a group of British lesbians and gay men support a Welsh miners’ strike

Call to worship

Creator God, we give thanks this day for work: for work that sustains; for work that fulfills; for work which, however tiring, also satisfies and resonates with Your labor in creation.

As part of our thanks we also intercede for those who have no work, who have too much or too little work; who work at jobs that demean or destroy, work which profits the few at the expense of the many.

Blessed One, extend your redemptive purpose in the many and varied places of our work. In factory or field, in sheltered office or under open sky, using technical knowledge or physical strength, working with machines or with people or with the earth itself.

Together we promise:

To bring the full weight of our intelligence and strength to our work.

Together we promise:

To make our place of work a place of safety and respect for all with whom we labor.

Together we refuse:

To engage in work that harms another, that promotes injustice or violence, that damages the earth or otherwise betrays the common good; or to resign ourselves to economic arrangements which widen the gap between rich and poor.

Together we refuse:

To allow our work to infringe on time with our families and friends, with our community of faith, with the rhythm of Sabbath rest.

Together we affirm:

The rights of all to work that both fulfills and sustains: to just wages and to contentment.

Together we affirm:

That the redeeming and transforming power of the Gospel, with all its demands for justice and its promises of mercy, is as relevant to the workplace as to the sanctuaries of faith and family.

We make these promises, we speak these refusals and we offer these affirmations as offerings to You, O God— who labors with purpose and lingers in laughter—in response to your ever-present grace, as symbols of our ongoing repentance and transformation, and in hope that one day all the world shall eat and be satisfied. AMEN.

Left: Art by Ricardo Levins Morales, ©RLM Art Studio

¶ “Labor Day History.” The Canadian roots of Labor Day observance in North America.  (3:13 video)

¶ “Labor Day: Quotes, quick-facts, extracts

Hymn of praise. “,” drawing on the image of Isaiah 42. (Thanks Kathy.)

Meditation.

My primary Labor Day memory comes from seminary days. I was assistant pastor at a church in New York City, and for several years running I was the designated preacher on Labor Day weekend. The congregation shrank to 8-10 people that Sunday, given the New Yorker tradition of leaving town in August, returning on September’s first Monday evening.

My favorite Labor Day tradition (unfortunately cancelled this year) is also a churchly affair. Members of my congregation hike in the Black Mountains east of Asheville, then convene under a picnic shelter in a nearby park for a leisurely, intergenerational potluck dinner and conversation, with plenty of playground equipment and a gentle stream for wading.

Picnics and discount sell-ebrations are synonymous with Labor Day, along with the cheap sentiments of Presidential Labor Day Proclamations. The latter’s sanctimony this year is dramatized by the wretched statistics of how the pandemic is disproportionately affecting low-age earners. More than 90% of the jobs cut during the pandemic have been from restaurants and other hospitality industries.

—continue reading “Labor’s bread and lovers’ roses: A Labor Day meditation

Right: Photo from the 1912 "Bread and Roses" strike in Lawrence, Massachusetts

Hymn of confession. “What makes a gringo your smart aleck lingo / When he stole this land from the Indian way back when / Don't he remember the big money lender / That put him a lincoln parked where his pinto had been / The almighty peso that gives him the say so / To dry up the river whenever there's crops to bring in / Such a good neighbor to take all his labor / Chase him back over the border till he's needed again.” Merle Haggard, “The Immigrant”

In Christian mysticism, the Latin phrase Ora et Labora reads in full: "Ora et labora, Deus adest son has" (“Pray and work, God is there,” i.e., God helps without delay.) The pray and work refers to the monastic practice of working and praying, generally associated with its use in the Rule of St. Benedict.

Hymn of intercession. “There's an evenin' haze settlin' over the town / Starlight by the edge of the creek / The buyin' power of the proletariat's gone down / Money's gettin' shallow and weak / The place I love best is a sweet memory / It's a new path that we trod / They say low wages are a reality / If we want to compete abroad.” —Bob Dylan, “Working Man’s Blues

Call to the table. “A hundred times every day I remind myself that my inner and outer life depend on the labors of other men, living and dead, and that I must exert myself in order to give in the same measure as I have received and am still receiving.” —Albert Einstein

Altar call. “Those who participate in [sabbath] break the anxiety cycle. They are invited to awareness that life does not consist in frantic production and consumption that reduces everyone else to threat and competition.” —Walter Brueggemann, Sabbath as Resistance

Benediction. “The ones who work behind the plow / The ones who stand and will not bow / The ones who care for home and child / The ones who labor meek and mild / The ones who work a thousand ways / That we might celebrate this day / The ones who raise our cities tall / For those who labor, one and all .” —John McCutcheon, “Labor Day

Additional resources on Labor Day

• “Labor in the shadow of sabbath,” a Labor Day sermon

• “Meditations on Labor and Leisure: Several reflections on Sabbath keeping

• “Blistering Hope: A stonemason’s meditation on perseverance

• Special issue of “Signs of the Times” on Labor Day (2015)

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©Ken Sehested @ prayerandpolitiks.org. Language not otherwise indicated above is that of the editor. Don’t let the “copyright” notice keep you from circulating material you find here (and elsewhere in this site). Reprint permission is hereby granted in advance for noncommercial purposes.

Your comments are always welcomed. If you have news, views, notes or quotes to add to the list above, please do. If you like what you read, pass this along to your friends. You can reach me directly at kensehested@prayerandpolitiks.org.

 

 

News, views, notes, and quotes

Signs of the Times • 28 August 2020 • No. 205

¶ Processional. Northwest Tap Connection: #Blacklivesmatter

Among my bedrock theological convictions is that biblical spirituality is always personal but never private.

In this sense—and this sense only—do I identify as an evangelical Christian. Which is to say, transformation entails a profound shift, deep within, which leverages a corresponding change in behavior and allegiance.

A disarmament of the heart (which usually does not happen all at once but typically grows incrementally) is the unfolding of faith—which, as Clarence Jordan wrote, is not “belief in spite of evidence but life lived in scorn of the consequences."

In so doing, as Dietrich Bonhoeffer wrote from his prison cell, "we learn to read history from below."

Of course the actual practice of disarmed living then renews, refines, and deepens the contours of the heart. Hearts and hands form a mutual learning pact.

Such faith imitates and participates in God’s transforming initiative in the Beloved's' enfleshment  (“while we were yet enemies of God”), relinquishing privilege, and then by way of Jesus' inauguration of the Reign to Come, setting in motion the disarmament of every ruthless power through the cross and resurrection. That selfsame movement—People of the Way—invites our participation even now.

This journey is not distinguished by a particular pattern of ritual observance, or precise doctrinal formulations, or set of moral strictures, or piety norms, or quality of emotional experience. The cruciform life lived inside resurrection’s promise is oriented by a beatific vision oriented to the coming Reign of God.

The work of grace is not like an emotional high, or a spa visit or an aromatherapy treatment or a mindfulness training. It is much more rigorous and robust. Grace has the power of displacing shame and fear, so that we develop the facility to living graciously, on the one hand, and fearlessly on the other, such that we receive the capacity to stand up against the threat of every malicious power.

“Freedom's just another word,” Kris Kristofferson wrote, “for having nothing left to lose.” This is our secret resurrectionary power.

Asking which comes first—disarmed hearts or disarmed hands—is a fruitless question. The one always guides and corrects and emboldens the other. These are not segregated acts but one unified exercise. Not unlike the relation between inhaling and exhaling.

The work of disarmed living—where the work of mercy mediates the demands of justice with the prerequisites of peace—is also holistic. It applies to every relational context of our lives, from the largest and most public to the most immediate and personal.

In this issue of Signs of the Times, I am offering examples from my own experience of attendance to the full range of where attention is needed: public policy, interpersonal relations, and familial kinship.

The first entails attention to the headlines, of needed public action, of attention to both the wretchedness and the hope of history’s large pallet. The second, an example of how we live with and care for friends and acquaintances. The third, how we sustain healthy relations within the intimacy of our own households (or at least with extended kin who gather for Thanksgiving meals).

The strategies we use for the work of healing in all three areas can be very different. None is more important than others. Different people give varying degrees of attention to one or another. But we all urgently need to be part of communities of conviction that nurture and encourage the work done in every level of our common life.

Confession. “This old house is falling down around my ears / I'm drowning in a river of my tears / When all my will is gone you hold me sway / And I need you at the dimming of the day / You pulled me like the moon pulls on the tide / You know just where I keep my better side. —“Dimming of the Day,” Bonnie Raitt and Richard Thompson

PUBLIC POLICY

Kindred, the news is bleak. For we live in the valley of the shadow, when:

        • the stock market reaches record-breaking levels in the midst of near-record-breaking rates of unemployment;

        • when 1% of US citizens control $30 trillion of assets while the bottom half is saddled with more debts than assets;

        • when the median wealth of Black households is a tenth of that of whites;

        • when yet another unarmed Black man is shot—in the back, seven times, while getting in his car where his children are sitting—by police;

            —continue reading “Kindred, the news is bleak: Rouse yourselves to maintain custody of your heart

Hymn of assurance. “I don't feel no ways tired, / I've come too far from where I started from. / Nobody told me that the road would be easy, / I don't believe He brought me this far to leave me.” —The Voices of Light, “I Don’t Feel No Ways Tired

INTERPERSONAL RELATIONS

Watching the dual storms track through the Caribbean tonight make me remember a similar experience. Several years ago I was up late watching the course of a hurricane and remembering friends in several Caribbean countries and in South Louisiana where the storm was headed. It prompted a poem, which I dedicated to my friend and pastor, Rev. Francisco Rodés, in Cuba.

        —read “Weather channeling prayer: In advance of a hurricane

¶ Hymn of intercession. “A greeting from my heart to Beirut / kisses to the sea and to the houses. . . . / My people’s wounds have flourished / And mothers tear / You are mine, you are mine / Ah, Hug me.” —English translation of lyrics in “Li Beirut” (“To Beirut”) performed by Fairouz 

FAMILIAL KINSHIP

Once a year in August my beloved catches up to me. For 14 weeks from late April, I maintain seniority in the house of age.

But then, in the dog days of summer, I lose my precedence. To be truthful, though, neither of us relish the accumulation of candles on our cake. . . . There have been hallelujahs and heartaches. Ecstasy in one moment, the laundry in the next.”

        —continue reading “Testifying on my beloved’s birthday: On the occasion of her 7 August 2020 birthday

Recessional. “The Blessing,” performed by an ensemble drawn from the churches of Aotearoa/New Zealand

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©Ken Sehested @ prayerandpolitiks.org. Language not otherwise indicated above is that of the editor, as are those portions cited as “kls.” Don’t let the “copyright” notice keep you from circulating material you find here (and elsewhere in this site). Reprint permission is hereby granted in advance for noncommercial purposes.

Feel free to copy and post any original art on this site. (The ones with “prayerandpolitiks.org” at the bottom.) As well as other information you find helpful.

Your comments are always welcomed. If you have news, views, notes or quotes to add to the list above, please do. If you like what you read, pass this along to your friends. You can reach me directly at kensehested@prayerandpolitiks.org.

 

 

Weather channelling prayer

Prayer in advance of a hurricane

by Ken Sehested
Written while thinking of a friend in Cuba

I am up late, glued to
the weather channel, tracking
Irene’s ruinous wake. Apparently
the storm is going north of you.
My furrowed face relaxes.

I do not believe in prayers
changing the course of hurricanes.
But that does not make me
cynical, or my prayers any less
urgent. It only means that
I love what God loves.

The implication, of course, is
that the storm's turning away
from you means it turns
towards others. In defense I say,
"Well, I don't know those others."

Ah, but God knows those others.
And loves those others, with or
without my furrowed intercessions.

So I am reminded again—as if
I needed another reminder—that
there is so much I do not know.

Then again, I also know that
God knows how little I know.
And that God’s love is not indexed
to my ignorance, and that I need not
be ashamed of my ignorance. Only
determined to push back its tenure.

Funny, isn't it, that the course of a
tempest can provoke theological
reflection? Then again, I remember
that squalls are the Advocate’s
customary vortex.

But at least now I can go to bed
imagining you finding your pillow,
howling threat passed on by
and boarded windows unburdened.

©Ken Sehested @ prayerandpolitiks.org. Email note to a friend in Cuba as Hurricane Irene approached his home.

Testifying on my beloved’s birthday

On the occasion of her 7 August 2020 birthday

by Ken Sehested

Once a year in August my beloved catches up to me. For 14 weeks from late April, I maintain seniority in the house of age. But then, in the dog days of summer, I lose my precedence. To be truthful, though, neither of us relish the accumulation of candles on our cake.

Oh the joy of these decades of trips around the sun, and these near-50 years (counting the courtship) of pledged troth, our wedding topped off with a make-your-own-banana split reception: Me in my burgundy red velour suit, frilly shirt, and bow tie; she in a breathtakingly gorgeous gown handmade by my Mom.

Much bread and plenty of roses are in the rear view mirror. Beautiful babies and more beautiful grands. I was able to cut the umbilical chords of most of those. It was, comparatively, lightweight work.

More arduous was, for a season, hand-rinsing dirty diapers in the toilet at 5:00 each morning. (This was back in the Diaperozoic Age, when those things were recycled the old fashioned way.)

Thousands of meals cooked; some, I regret, in a mad dash. Hundreds of lunch boxes prepared; and car pooling to school and extracurricular activities; and sermons and essays and poems sweated over—some still unfinished, some that should never have seen the light of day, but some revealed and offered as manna and water from a rock.

One of Nancy’s prayers, at a preseason NFL football game, brought a visitor to our church who would later become chair of our deacon board. (We debated the propriety of the invitation, but decided God, too, had a sense of humor.) Then there was her wedding sermon, in the downtown city plaza, where B.B. King was the best man.

There have been plenty of trips to beaches and mountains and deserts, and shared journeys to multiple continents. We persevered through anxious days and long nights of comfort-care of each other, or one or another of our kids, through fevers and assorted other maladies; not to mention too many funerals of dearly beloveds.

Our youngest once wandered away from home. Or so we thought. After mobilizing the neighborhood for a terrified hunt, we found her asleep in an empty kitchen cabinet.

It still amazes me that this woman, slight as she is and gently-demeanored, could intimidate religious authorities and hard-bitten inmates alike.

There have been hallelujahs and heartaches. Ecstasy in one moment, the laundry in the next. There were times when bliss was AWOL and romance tempered, occasions of curt replies and tempers leaking. But never, through it all, come hell or high water, any doubt about the thrill of this ride, never a diminished longing for one more day, one more year, at least one more lifetime.

Blessed be your name, dear lovely one. Some of us married up.

Kenny

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©ken sehested @ prayerandpolitiks.org